Who Were You Before Life Happened?
I've been pondering this idea for the last few days as I reflect on this time of Covid, and the transition of my 14 year old son moving to California to be with his dad. This shift in our collective reality has been eye opening to say the least. Business is not where it was pre-Covid, and social gatherings and interactions have made it apparent to me, that I need community and connection more than I ever knew. And now that Junior has left my nest quite empty... now what? Who am I when I begin to strip back the roles and labels that I have identified as for so long? With the current state of affairs and shift in my personal life, I really need to remember who I am and understand how to regain my purpose.
Growing up I was always very active and energetic and would often end up at my doorstep with bloody scraped up knees and elbows. I was the "girly girl" with mud on her dress from jumping over puddles with the boys. You could always find me singing and dancing no matter where we were or what we were doing. I was fearless and a natural born leader, with a flair for hair, makeup, and sports. I was an avid daydreamer and I loved to explore the world around me from sun up to sun down. I loved life, my family, friends, and even strangers.
I remember one time asking my father why we couldn't provide food and shelter to the less fortunate, I mean we had food and an extra room. I just remember him telling me that we couldn't. Ironically when my son was about 7 or 8 years old he asked me the same thing, and unfortunately I didn't have a better answer for him. But just reflecting on this parallel between Junior and I makes me better understand that before the world got its hands on me, on us, we were pure love. We came into this world ready to love and be loved. We were not born black, white, republican, democrat, spiritual, atheist, we were love.
Coming to this realization I have decided that in order to remember who
I really am and live with purpose, I have to do all the things I love with love. So maybe I'm not doing the home school thing right now, but I can love my son with phone calls, text messages, and care packages. I can get more time outside exploring the beaches and the nearby national parks. I can spend more time singing and dancing, and connecting with friends and family either by phone or in person. The external circumstances are what they are, but how I choose to respond and live my life is completely up to me.
It's a tough time for all of us right now. Some of us feel scared, unsafe, disconnected, unheard, and unseen. And we all know that when someone is hurting inside, that hurt spills over and we hurt others. Now is not the time for " an eye for an eye." Now is the time to "turn the other cheek." By no means am I saying to tolerate abuse, never that. What I am saying is to try and see one another through the loving eyes of compassion. And when you have the chance share a little love, a little light, and a little hope. Be the person you were before life happened, the world needs you right now.